ALL of us have a friend(s), a relative(s), a spouse, a loved one(s), a work colleague(s), a sibling(s) or other people we know that are overweight/obese. We have thought about the potential health damage the weight control issue may cause them and many of these people we know may already be manifesting some/many of the co-morbidities of poor weight control. Do we have a “responsibility” to somehow become involved in helping these important people in our lives?
Most/all of us are concerned that by bringing up the subject to the overweight/obese people we know and love, we will offend them. They all know simply by looking in the mirror that they have a weight control problem. Furthermore, they also know that they are placing their health in jeopardy by NOT moving forward with a successful weight loss effort.
This indeed, is a very difficult scenario, especially when the person(s) we are concerned about are very close to us, such as a spouse, child or sibling. We certainly do not want to have our loved ones feel that we are “disgusted” with their look or in any other way, “put off” with them due to their weight.
Often, it is easier to gather our thoughts and organize what we would like to say in a written document. This allows the recipient to learn what we are trying to convey and yet not feel backed into a corner needing to respond immediately. In the scenario we are discussing, starting out with a letter or e-mail starting with: “I know this is a very difficult topic to discuss, but I love you so much, that I feel that I need to offer my help if you are open to this…”. Then, after writing your concerns, end this with something to the effect: “I hope that my concern and offer to help you are not offending you in any manner. If you want me to “mind my own business” then there is no need for any further discussion. Please dispose of this note and we will never have to talk about it again. Just know that I love you and want you to be healthy and happy for many, many more years.”
Blunt, “in your face” discussions about someone else’s weight problem can be embarrassing and offensive to the overweight/obese person. The soft, loving approach will be more effective and not harm the relationship.
Enjoy an old Jim Croce tune that your loved one will love.
