Okay, first an obvious question: If you saw a friend/loved one about to be hit by a fast moving car, would you shout out with the utmost urgency to warn that person? Of course you would. That scenario, without intervention, could result in a catastrophic event and there is no way would you remain silent.
Let’s change scenarios: You are at a dinner party and you see one of your very close friends ordering lots of alcohol containing drinks. If that person was attending the event alone, you would be concerned about the potential for post-party impaired driving so you would probably offer some help in terms of driving that person, ordering an Uber, or other. When you discuss these issues with your friend at the end of the evening, there is a chance that the person may get a bit insulted. Perhaps they would feel that you are treating them like a alcoholic or teenager that cannot make smart decisions for themselves. However, your concern for the person would still have you offer help despite the risk of hurting their feelings.
A more difficult scenario: You are with a friend/loved one at an event that includes lots of carbs and sugars to eat. The person, who is obese, is indulging in eating excessive amounts of the weight-gaining food sources. Concerned for your loved one’s health, would you be so bold as to say something to that person to perhaps have him/her/become more cognizant of the health-impairing behavior? Clearly, the person may get quite insulted by your words that are meant to help.
My thoughts, but perhaps a bit slanted due to the fact that I am a doctor: For the close people in our lives, we do need to take the risk of having our words be construed as insulting as opposed to remaining silent. Of course, this depends on how we construct our help-intending words. Saying something in the immediacy of the moment would be lots more potentially insulting than waiting for a more private time in the future to offer some helpful advice. The obese person knows that they are obese. They also know they should be in the mode of actively shedding weight. Words of empathy, concern and love go a long way in lessening what may be perceived as insulting.
I believe you owe it to your loved ones to discuss potential health issues that have not been addressed by the person(s). Getting back to the example of the speeding car approaching, we all should try as best we can to help the most important people in our lives even if there is an initial insult felt.
And now I am going to insult most of you by posting a song from the 1970’s that in polls ranks as one of the worst from that decade. I love Paul Anka music but I guess many females may have been insulted by this hit!
www.youtube.com/watch?v=SFHWl-ZyRAg&list=RDSFHWl-ZyRAg&start_radio=1
